


Lonely but not alone

by kstarlight



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, Loneliness, M/M, i wish i actually had a friendship like this, protect jisung, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kstarlight/pseuds/kstarlight
Summary: Sometimes it’s too much, but you don’t have to take it on alone.
Relationships: Han Jisung/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 157





	Lonely but not alone

**Author's Note:**

> Vent fic 
> 
> I recommend listening to Sweater Weather by the Neighborhood

Jisung stared at the ceiling and sighed, a sound so sad with a longing for something unknown from deep inside his soul.

The room was silent but his mind was violent.

He lost track of time as he laid on the bed with his hands over his abdomen, rising and falling to every slow breath he had to remind himself to take. The simplest things became foreign when he wandered this far from reality.

He counted his breaths always losing focus by twenty at most, though it wasn’t obvious until he was three scenarios deep into the voices of his head when he couldn’t remember that he’d been trying to focus on anything. The ceiling swayed over him, everything felt cold, and the harder he tried to keep everything in the easier it was to come out. His eyes burned, filling with a warmth that as a he blinked trailed from his delicate lashes with a trail of tears.

“Jisung?”

There was a sudden intrusion of light peeking into the dark room, blinding him obnoxiously. And as for the voice..

“Are you sleeping?”

The light flicked on and now Jisung was really disturbed. He winced and squeezed his eyes shut to block out the brightness, sitting upright from his bed he saw the last person he expected.

“Hyunjin, could you please turn the light back off?”

The dancer was caught off guard for a moment before hesitantly lowering the brightness with the dimmer beside the switch. A faint candle like glow filled the room.

Jisung laid back with a small sigh.

“Sorry,” Hyunjin closed the door behind him and shuffled to the rappers bedside, “are you okay?”

Jisung hummed.

“I’m fine.”

Hyunjin raised his brow, gaze narrowing in on the look in Jisung’s eyes, dazed and a bit glassy, like the surface of a rippling river.

Hyunjin grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and nodded at Jisung.

“Move over.”

The younger turned with surprise, wrinkling his nose as if to protest.

“Why?”

“Because I want to cuddle.”

Hyunjin was already laying down before Jisung had the chance to react, he merely sighed in defeat while the clingy dancer draped the blanket over them and placed an arm over the rappers waist.

“I said I was fine you know,” Jisung reminded, “you don’t have to do this.”

He shifted his eyes around the room to avoid Hyunjin’s honey like stare, so sweet and familiar, focusing on him. It was not what he wanted to see right now, it’d be enough to take his emotions for a toll immediately.

“I know,” Hyunjin’s grip tightened, “but who said this was for you? Maybe I just wanted cuddles.”

Jisung feigned and ignored how much lighter the weight on his chest felt with the older arms holding him so close.

“Right..”

Silence fell over them and this time Jisung wasn’t as disturbed by the nasty thoughts he had moments ago.

Instead, he was focusing on Hyunjin, and how the light in the room made his irises gleam like the reflection of the moon and stars resided within his eyes. He was preoccupied with the warmth radiating off of his gentle hands onto his back, and how each one of the dancers breaths came so calm and evenly, soothing Jisungs rapid heartbeat and setting the pace of their breathing in unison.

Every scattered piece of Jisungs body felt like it was coming back together again.

“Are you falling asleep?” The whisper of Hyunjin’s voice tickled the skin of Jisung’s neck.

“Not yet,” he nodded deeper into Hyunjin’s chest, “but you are comfortable.”

Hyunjin smiled sleepily. He waited another moment, admiring the innocence of Jisung so tranquil and small in his arms.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Jisung should’ve known the older wouldn’t have forgotten why he came here in the first place. Out of curiosity and worry.

“I think I am now.”

“And before?” 

Jisung shifted awkwardly, “I’m not sure..”

He opened his eyes to see Hyunjin staring already, melting his heart and filling his chest with butterflies.

“You don’t have to keep everything to yourself.”

Jisung nodded, he _knew_ that of course, but he also knew the stress everyone had been under lately and how busy they were and he didn’t want to be the weak link of the chain in the midst of it all.

Hyunjin realized the younger didn’t know what to say, and decided to go on.

“You’re allowed to take your time and you don’t owe us anything, but when you’re not okay and you’re hurting, it hurts us too. We worry.”

He was frowning now. Jisung thought someone as warm and kind and pretty as Hyunjin should never look so sad.

“I’m sorry.” Jisung looked down shamefully.

“Don’t be sorry,” Hyunjin laughed, he brought his hand up to run soothingly through Jisungs hair, “just talk to us. Talk to me.”

Jisung hesitantly parted his lips, finding strength as Hyunjin waited patiently, and nodded him on with encouragement.

“I’ve felt kinda lonely these days.”

Letting the words roll off his tongue felt kinda silly, especially in his current situation being held close by one of his best friends. He was constantly surrouned by people and yet he managed to feel so lost.

Hyunjin waited with an anticipating gaze. Jisung took a shuddering inhale and went on.

“I know I’m not alone, but sometimes I feel so isolated and afraid of being with myself. I’m all in my head and it’s just.. overwhelming.”

If the room could sway Jisung was sure it did, as if the waves of the ocean raged beneath him and made his whole body move with it.

Everything was spinning, he was losing all of his control.

Hyunjin could see it, how the look in Jisungs eyes seemed to shift and travel distantly, widening with unease.

“Hey,” Hyunjin held him close again, “it’s okay. I’m right here.” He ran a hand down his back. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“It’s okay,” Jisung mumbled.

“I wish I could help but I-“

“You do,” Jisung cut him off startlingly, he eased into the touch of Hyunjin’s hands, “this helps, just being here like this.”

Hyunjin didn’t reply, only continued to attempt some sort of comfort through gentle contact.

“Thank you.” Jisung whispered. His eyes were starting to close as the feeling of Hyunjin’s rhythmic touch began lulling him to sleep as peaceful as the song of rain.

The dancer felt warmth spread across his chest and began to drift off as well.

Sometimes the world felt lonely, but Hyunjin promised Jisung he would never be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could hug Hyunjin or Jisung or any of the members, I love them sm :( 
> 
> pls take care of yourselves and don’t let yourself stress out or try to do everything alone, be kind to yourself and stay healthy this holiday season <3
> 
> thank you for reading!


End file.
